Jon, 38, lives in Sheffield
"I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression at the age of 19, but I have suffered with the effects of both for as long as I can remember. I was at university studying nursing when I was diagnosed and was under a bit of pressure with my placement and assignments. I also had three bereavements very close together – a family member, a neighbour and also a friend from university. It was tough.
"I can recall one particular day, I was feeling extremely sad. I couldn’t sleep, didn’t want to eat, didn’t want to socialise and all those things added up to me realising I wasn’t ok. I went to see my GP and it was the first time that the doctor spoke to me about stress, depression and anxiety, but they explained that I had been through a lot and that I would feel better in time.
"The following summer, I still wasn’t right so I went back to my GP as my mood was still being affected. We talked about depression and they offered me medication for the first time and I took that.
"Ever since then, I’ve been through a process of flying and falling. What I’ve found is that depression and anxiety doesn’t leave you alone. A few years later, I was losing sleep, I was worrying all the time, off my food and wasn’t comfortable in social situations or at work. I went back to see my GP – and I was given treatment again. History was almost repeating itself. I still have episodes that vary in nature and length. I always come through and have learnt what triggers those episodes off.
"What led to me contacting Samaritans was the feeling of being low and that I really needed to talk to somebody. At the time, I felt like I wanted to speak to someone impartial and it was night time. I didn’t want to pick up the phone or disturb anyone. It seemed the natural thing to do and that’s what Samaritans are there for. Despite feeling anxious, I’m really glad that I did as the volunteer was really helpful.
"After I contacted Samaritans, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders – the relief and the difference in mental clarity and my thinking and how I was feeling changed. I was able to go sleep well that night and wake up the following morning feeling better, more empowered and ready to face what was troubling me. It alleviated a lot of the worries that I had.
"One of the ways I manage my emotions and mental wellbeing now is when I’m feeling low, I share those feelings. I talk to somebody. Before I probably wouldn’t have done that, but I share more now.
"I feel being open and sharing how you are feeling is ok. One of the things that stopped me before, was shame, but it’s ok to speak and tell somebody. Sharing and talking is the start and it really does help. It’s therapeutic to talk through things and it really helps put things in perspective.
"One of the positive things about the future is that there is not just one path to life, there are several paths. If one path is not working for you whether it’s a job or in any sense, then there is another path. You can be happy.
"The reason I thought it was important to share my story, is for other people to hopefully feel empowered that they can open up to someone if they are feeling low. It’s as normal as any other condition that exists in our society."
Jon, what message would you have to men who are struggling?
"Please make sure that you speak to somebody. It really is up to you who that is. I called Samaritans and spoke to someone who didn’t know me, but listened and understood how I was feeling. It changed my life in that moment."
What advice would you have to encourage someone to contact Samaritans?
"If you don’t feel like you are being heard, try a helpline or a crisis team. Eventually you will be signposted to someone who can help you.
"Samaritans volunteers are there round the clock, they are there at night time when you feel most alone and isolated. It’s ok, they are there to help. They want to help and it’s ok to share what’s on your mind and how you feel."
What do you recommend to get back on track?
"It’s important to seek help. It’s not always possible to do this alone. The nature of anxiety and depression, and mental illness, it can become overwhelming. It manifests itself in many different ways and sometimes it isn’t possible to fight it alone."
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