Just days before Christmas 2015, my husband left me and my children. I was struggling to cope and had started to feel suicidal.
My two girls went to spend Christmas with their father and I was left alone.
On Christmas day, I sat watching the Queen’s speech alone, with tears falling. My children returned later that day and I somehow managed to remain composed.
Once they settled to bed, I recall a sudden overwhelming surge of pain. I sat there reflecting on how grateful I am to have them, but irrational thoughts entered my mind and I felt increasing desperate and frightened.
I felt abandoned by everyone and too ashamed to call anyone as they’d all be happy and merry, enjoying their Christmas.
I didn’t want to be a burden.
I felt like I had no one to turn to – until I remembered Samaritans.
When I heard the volunteer’s calm, measured tones at the other end of the phone, I felt such relief. It was a start for me – not the end I had been thinking about.
I truly believe that the Samaritan who listened to me that Christmas night saved my life.