Losing her father
"My dad killed himself just before Christmas. It hit me hard, I was only 14.
"I really tried to cope with everything, but I just found it so difficult – I felt so empty. I suppose I became pretty morbid.
"I got into a bad relationship and started hurting myself. It was a horrible time, but I finally found the strength to leave my boyfriend and go to college.
"Things were good for a while and I met someone new.
"Then when I was 21 I discovered I was pregnant.
"I was really looking forward to being a Mum; I bought all the books and some little sleepsuits. But that Christmas I lost the baby.
"I’d already started to dream about what Christmas would be like – a tree, a turkey, our own traditions – then suddenly I had nothing.
Coping with Christmas
"Everything bad seems to happen around this time. I know my friends want to be there for me but I just don’t feel like I can talk to them.
"That’s why I’ve tended to spend a lot of Christmas Days on my own.
"But whenever things have got too much, I’ve always been able to talk to Samaritans.
"And when I do I know there’ll be someone there to listen. Someone to say, “You’re doing alright,” and who won’t judge me.
Looking to the future
"As for now, I’ve got a new job, which is good, and I’m planning to do better this Christmas.
"I feel like I’m ready to do it again.
"But I know that if I need someone to talk to, if it all gets too much, I can talk to Samaritans."
How you can help
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