Remembering friends or family who have died by suicide in a safe way online

• Make sure that close friends and family are aware – it's important to inform people close to the individual, such as family and close friends, that you are thinking of creating a memorial page so that they have the chance to be involved. You may need to ask them for permission, particularly if the person who has died is under 18.
• Decide who you want to see the page – if you want the group to be exclusively for close friends and family then you can make it private, which means you can control who can see and post on the group. If the group is open or public, be aware that it can be accessed by anyone and may appear in search engine results. In some cases, where a suicide has attracted media attention, photos and messages from the page may be used by news sources without your permission.
• Have some ground rules on the page – explain to users accessing the online memorial how you want the page to be used and the type of messages that are and are not allowed. Make sure these ground rules are prominently displayed so that users are aware of what is expected of them.
• Be realistic about the commitment needed – creating and managing a memorial page can be time-consuming and emotionally challenging at times. Users in distress may access the page and it is important to take steps to ensure visitors have access to sources of support, as well as looking after your own wellbeing.

• Check the language of your posts is safe – when talking about suicide, it’s always important to make sure the posts are sensitive and safe. Avoid mentioning details of the suicide as this may inadvertently encourage vulnerable users to try the same thing, especially if it is described as ‘quick’ or ‘painless’. Our resource on speaking safely about suicide online has tips on using trigger warnings and avoiding language that can be distressing or harmful.
• Manage posts and comments – it’s important to regularly check the page in case someone has posted something insensitive or concerning. People may sometimes post negative comments that target the deceased individual or their loved ones, which can be upsetting or lead to disagreements on the page. Most sites and social networks will allow you to remove these comments, so that they can’t upset other users, but it’s important to explain to the person posting why you’ve removed their comments wherever possible.
  Many sites and social networks let you disable comments on public posts, and some platforms allow you to moderate comments before they are made public which means inappropriate comments aren’t visible to other users. If you feel like you are losing control or managing the page is overwhelming, it is OK to ask other people to help moderate or to remove the page entirely.
• Consider the information you are sharing – information shared online can be easily accessed so avoid sharing anything you want to keep private. Try not to post personal details about the person or details about the death, especially if there is an ongoing police investigation.
• Celebrate the achievements of the person – focus on the things they enjoyed and their positive qualities and passions, rather than details of their death. Avoid saying things like they are in a ‘better place’ as it can suggest to vulnerable people that suicide is a way of getting out of difficulty or making things better.
• Include a list of supportive resources and organisations – it’s important for people coming to the page to know where to find support if they need it. Try to share information about practical and emotional support that people can access 24 hours a day, in a range of formats, such as Samaritans or Shout. If you are concerned that someone may be in crisis or needs immediate help, encourage them to call 999 or visit their nearest A&E department. You can also report worrying posts to the site or platform, who may be able to offer further support. Our resource on supporting someone who might be struggling online provide more information.
• Encourage regular promotion of resources – try to post and promote helpful resources, support options and practical guides that people can use to cope with the bereavement and take care of their wellbeing. Users may continue to access the page for a long period of time, meaning that resources will need to be kept up-to-date and available.

Creating and managing online memorial pages can provide a great deal of support but can also be upsetting and overwhelming at times, especially if you are contacted by a lot of users in distress. The way that people interact with the page may change over time in ways that you might not be expecting. The page may receive more attention during an inquest or on significant dates such as an anniversary.

Take a break – regularly looking at suicide-related content can negatively affect how you’re feeling, so it’s crucial to spend time away from the page and connect with friends and people you trust. Think about whether it would be helpful to have set times for moderating the page, so that you have time to focus on other things.

Find useful resources – you can access online practical and helpful resources for people bereaved by suicide which can help you understand what has happened.

• Support After Suicide Partnership (SASP)
• Help is at Hand
• Finding the Words

For more practical support you can read this helpful guide by Support After Suicide Partnership (SASP) with advice on how to handle the media and social media pages of the person who has died.

Access support – you can call Samaritans for emotional support day or night, 365 days a year. Additionally, there are many organisations offering specific support for people bereaved by suicide:

• Survivors Of Bereavement by Suicide (SOBS) for suicide bereavement support
• Hub of Hope to find offline, in-person and local support
• At a Loss to find offline, in-person and local bereavement support