Sections
2. Ways to start a conversation
3. Be there for them in the moment
6. Don’t be afraid to ask if they’re having suicidal thoughts
7. Help the person take their mind off how they’re feeling
8. There’s no quick fix, but in that moment you can save someone’s life
4. Listen without judgement
Conversations about mental health and suicide can feel daunting, but when someone is burdened with carrying around worries and difficult thoughts, having someone there to listen can make all the difference.
A family member gave me a safe space to talk and express how I was feeling and enabled me to examine each thought and see it for what it was. Not an urge to die but a desperate need for things around me to change. Being able to express myself calmly led me to see what the problems were around me and how I could tackle them. The intervention saved my life and now every time I get suicidal thoughts I speak to that person.
Member of Samaritans' lived experience panel
Suggestions from people with lived experience
- Don’t dismiss their thoughts or feelings or diminish their experience, you may not understand why they’re feeling suicidal but trust that they are and them being able to express it to someone who cares enough to listen might help.
Once someone starts to share how they’re feeling, it’s important to listen. This could mean not offering advice, not trying to identify what they’re going through with your own experiences and not trying to solve their problems. We’ve compiled some listening tips to help you give the best support you can.
More suggestions from members of our lived experience panel
- “Suicidal thoughts don’t come and go quickly, it takes a long time for those feelings to pass. You need someone to say 'I'm here, for as long as you need me’.”
- “Don’t ever try to guilt trip the person – this happened to me and made me feel intensely isolated and more depressed.”
- “It helps to be listened to without any judgement and to have any feelings accepted without ridicule or condemnation in any way; to be given time.”
- “Ask open, honest questions rather than making assumptions.”
Remember, these ideas and suggestions came from people with experience of suicidal thoughts. Everybody is different and what works for one person might not be right for someone else, but they’ve shared lots of different ideas and examples of things they find helpful when they’re having suicidal thoughts.