Sections
2. Ways to start a conversation
3. Be there for them in the moment
6. Don’t be afraid to ask if they’re having suicidal thoughts
7. Help the person take their mind off how they’re feeling
8. There’s no quick fix, but in that moment you can save someone’s life
6. Don’t be afraid to ask if they’re having suicidal thoughts
Don’t be afraid to ask someone if they’re having suicidal thoughts. It gives them permission to tell you how they feel.
[They said] I am worried about you – are you having suicidal thoughts? That interrupted my thoughts because I thought I was hiding them from others well, it also took me back that someone cared to ask.
Member of Samaritans' lived experience panel
Suggestions from people with lived experience
- Validate their feelings if you can. It might feel scary to agree that things are awful and might seem counter-intuitive, but many people have spent a long time having their feelings ignored or dismissed. Someone validating their struggles can be surprisingly helpful.
Getting them to focus on what they would miss from life and getting them to talk about what interests them to take their mind off it.
Member of Samaritans' lived experience panel
- Ask them if they would miss anything or anyone if they were not here anymore.
- You can gently encourage them to seek help, whether that's through a GP, a mental health team or charities such as Samaritans.
"Often it is not that a person wants to be dead, they just want to escape the problems around them and sometimes it’s just having someone to be there to listen and bring you back to a place where you can look at things with a different perspective."
I use the analogy of a dirty window, you can’t see a way out, until the window cleaner comes along and cleans the window, and then suddenly you can see out. Sometimes you need someone to be that window cleaner.
Member of Samaritans' lived experience panel
Remember, these ideas and suggestions came from people with experience of suicidal thoughts. Everybody is different and what works for one person might not be right for someone else, but they’ve shared lots of different ideas and examples of things they find helpful when they’re having suicidal thoughts.