Sections
2. Ways to start a conversation
3. Be there for them in the moment
6. Don’t be afraid to ask if they’re having suicidal thoughts
7. Help the person take their mind off how they’re feeling
8. There’s no quick fix, but in that moment you can save someone’s life
3. Be there for them in the moment
If you’re worried about someone, stay with them and let them know you're there for them.
My partner let me know they were there for me and would support me to seek help and this made me feel like I mattered, my feelings mattered and there was hope.
Member of Samaritans' lived experience panel
Suggestions from people with lived experience:
- Ask them if they’ve felt like this before and what, if anything, has helped them and then do something they’ve suggested if possible.
- If you feel able to, stay with them and sit quietly, letting them know you’re there if they want to talk.
- Do not coerce, do not force anything on the person, meet them as they are in that moment and join them in it, if you can.
- Let them know they are not alone.
- Let them know that an emotion and a thought does not last forever. An emotion or thought does not have to define them. It does not need to lead to a decision they can’t reverse.
- Ask them what things they care about, what do they like? Or if they cannot answer, ask them what they don’t like if that is easier.
You don’t have to handle this alone
Your safety matters. If you don't feel comfortable speaking to someone you don’t know, that's OK. If you’re unsure about talking to them alone or don’t feel safe to start a conversation yourself consider asking a passer-by for support.
It can also be helpful to let them know that they can call Samaritans free, day or night, on 116 123. If you think it’s an emergency or they’ve tried to harm themselves – call 999 in the UK or 112 in Ireland.
Friends who were very close talked to me and included me in activities that distracted me and made me feel like I had a support network and a reason to live.
Samaritans' lived experience panel member
Remember, these ideas and suggestions came from people with experience of suicidal thoughts. Everybody is different and what works for one person might not be right for someone else, but they’ve shared lots of different ideas and examples of things they find helpful when they’re having suicidal thoughts.