Samaritans
  • Donate now
  • Contact a Samaritan
Samaritans
  • How we can help
    How we can help
    • Talk to someone
      • On the phone
      • By email
      • Write a letter
      • Find a branch
      • Self-help app
    • If you're having a difficult time
      • Signs you may be struggling to cope
      • Support groups for people bereaved by suicide
      • I want to kill myself
      If you're worried about someone else
      • If you think it's an emergency
      • Supporting someone with suicidal thoughts
      • How to support someone you're worried about
      • In the workplace
      • In schools
      • In prisons
      • In the military
      • In health and care
    • Get support as a key worker from Our Frontline
      Get support as a key worker from Our Frontline
  • Support us
    Support us
    • Volunteer for Samaritans Be there for people who desperately need someone
    • Events and fundraising Take part in an event or fundraise in your own way
    • Donate now Just £5 can fund the cost of a call
    • Online shop Browse our brilliant range of carefully sourced products for every occasion
    • Business partnerships There are many ways your company can support our work
    • Leave a gift in your Will You can pass on something wonderful
    • Support us on Brew Monday
      We need your help right now
  • Donate now
  • Contact a Samaritan
  • Home
  • How we can help
  • If you're having a difficult time
  • If you want to self-harm

Ruth's story

The reasons for self-harm are complex, but it is a sign of serious emotional distress. It is possible to stop self-harming. This is Ruth’s story.

I began self-harming at 14 when my older sister left home for university. She was more like a best friend and a role model than a sibling.

Self-harming is not something I had ever done. I felt hopeless and harming myself did not relieve any of that feeling, nor did it feel like a release. However, it didn’t make anything worse, which I saw as a positive. I was going to tell my parents when I was ready but then my Dad found out. He was clearly concerned and it pained me to see my Dad so disappointed in me, as I just want to make him proud. But for the first time I think he really understood how much I had been hurting. He decided to ring the GP and book an emergency appointment. I could barely speak, and was utterly confused by the feelings I was having.

Because I had been having suicidal thoughts, I was advised to travel to hospital and be seen by a psychiatrist within the hour. I have never had to go to hospital before, and never in a million years thought I’d end up at A&E for my mental health.

The support I received at first wasn’t great. Instead of looking at why I was doing it and the emotional distress I was in, the support focused on techniques to stop me from doing it. It was also very disjointed so when I moved to another county, I found that all my support got dropped and I felt alone and isolated.

Samaritans-supporter-Ruth-case-study.jpg

The most useful support when I was self-harming was support from my friends who didn’t judge me, but who gradually helped me begin to stop.

Ruth

I’ve been hospitalized three times when I’ve felt suicidal. I have called Samaritans for emotional support and I believe they saved my life.

Since then, my mental health has improved, I’ve published a book documenting my struggles entitled ‘Within the white lines’ and the support of my family has been key to my continued recovery.

I’m keen to share my story with the hope of inspiring those currently in crisis and to help improve the support they need.

If you want to self-harm

Find out what support's available

  • Call us
  • Write a letter
  • Email us
  • Welsh language
  • Self-help app

Call us

Whatever you're going through, call us free any time, from any phone, on 116 123.

Benefits

  • Free
  • One-to-one
  • Open 24 hours a day

Maybe not if...

  • You have patchy phone signal
  • You prefer to write things down
  • You're looking for advice

Call us any time, day or night 116 123

116 123 Call us any time, day or night
Find out more

Write a letter

Sometimes writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you better understand them.

Benefits

  • Free
  • Time to compose your thoughts
  • Time to reflect between letters

Maybe not if...

  • You need urgent support right now
  • You have no fixed address
  • It's hard for you to post a letter

Write to us

Chris

Freepost RSRB-KKBY-CYJK

PO Box 9090

STIRLING

FK8 2SA

Write to us Chris, Freepost RSRB-KKBY-CYJK, PO Box 9090, STIRLING, FK8 2SA
Find out more

Email us

Sometimes writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you understand them better.

Benefits

  • Time to compose your thoughts
  • No need to respond right away
  • Work things through over time

Maybe not if...

  • You need urgent support right now
  • You want to talk things through in one go
  • You want to speak to the same person throughout

[email protected]

Response time: 24 hours

[email protected] Response time: 24 hours
Find out more

Welsh language

If you would like emotional support in Welsh, we have a Welsh Language Line which is free to call. We also have a letter writing service in Welsh.

Call now 0808 164 0123

0808 164 0123 Call now
Find out more

Self-help app

Keep track of how you're feeling, and get recommendations for things you can do to help yourself cope, feel better and stay safe in a crisis

Benefits

  • Free
  • Work things through in your own time
  • You don't need to speak to anyone if you're not ready

Maybe not if...

  • You need urgent help right now
  • You want to speak to a volunteer
  • Your internet connection is unreliable

Try Samaritans Self-Help

Launch the app
Try Samaritans Self-Help Launch the app
Find out more

Read more findings from our new self-harm research

Click here to see the full report, Pushed from pillar to post

Mental Health services for people who self-harm in England are inadequate, say Samaritans

Charity warns more people will suffer alone if improvements are not made quickly.

How can I support someone who has self-harmed?

It can be hard to know what to say when someone you care for is hurting themselves.

If you want to self-harm

Whether you sometimes think about self-harm, or you’ve already hurt yourself, we’re here. Read more about how we can help.

  • Scotland
  • Republic of Ireland
  • Northern Ireland
  • Wales

Some of the content you’re seeing is based on the country you’re browsing from.

How we can help

  • Contact a Samaritan
  • If you're having a difficult time
  • If you're worried about someone else
  • Talk to us on the phone
  • Myths about suicide

Support us

  • Volunteer for Samaritans
  • Donate now
  • Online shop
  • Supporter queries
  • Events and fundraising
  • Other ways to support us

Policy and research

  • Our policy and research
  • Suicide facts and figures
  • Campaigns
  • Supporting less well-off, middle-aged men

About Samaritans

  • What we do
  • Jobs
  • Contact us
  • NEWS
  • Our strategy

116 123

Call us free, day or night, 365 days a year

Newsletter

Stay on top of our latest news and updates

Self-help app

Keep track of how you're feeling, and get recommendations for things you can do to help yourself cope, feel better and stay safe in a crisis

  • NEWS
  • Jobs
  • Accessibility
  • Privacy
  • Legal
  • Feedback

Samaritans is a charity registered in England and Wales (219432) and in Scotland (SC040604) and incorporated in England and Wales as a company limited by guarantee (757372). Samaritans Ireland is a charity registered in the Republic of Ireland (20033668) and incorporated in the Republic of Ireland as a company limited by guarantee (450409). Samaritans in Scotland is a charity registered in Scotland (SC009843) and incorporated as a Scottish Charitable Incorporated Organisation. Samaritans Enterprises is a private limited company (01451175).