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Emma's story

The reasons for self-harm are complex, but it is a sign of serious emotional distress. It is possible to stop self-harming. This is Emma’s story.

I started self-harming when I was 15. I was bullied really badly, and I was so lonely.

I didn’t understand why I was getting picked on. I thought it had to be me that’s the problem, and that’s when I started to self-harm and think about suicide.

I carried so much anger with me all of the time. When I lost all my friends, that anger had to go somewhere. It seemed like the easiest thing was to inflict pain on myself. I saw it as a punishment. I thought I was such a bad person.

I’ve had talking therapy and thought a lot about why I self-harmed. It was so helpful for my recovery. Now I can recognise what I’m triggered by. When it first started, it was the pain of being so on my own and so angry. As I got older, it all revolved around relationships: when my ex-boyfriend finished with me, or when I fell out with my mum.

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I found it really scary to talk about my feelings at first. I found it such a comfort that my mum came with me to speak to someone.

Emma

My mum spoke for me because I was too fragile. Everyone else kept trying to brush it off and telling me to cheer up. I was lucky to have someone to say you are really, really struggling and I want to help you.

As I was going to seek help and gradually getting better, I made a social media account and started making friends. We were all in very similar positions, which is how we came together in our little community and helped each other.

Nowadays, to manage my emotions, I read a lot: I always have self-care books on my phone. If I feel anxious, it’s about physically bringing myself back into the room. I smell something, taste something and touch something. I do breathing exercises, and once I feel like I’m ok I put on something to do with self-progress, on iTunes, Amazon or YouTube: something that is gentle but is inspiring.

I read a lot about mindfulness, accepting where you are in life. I’ve found that when you accept the here and now, life will become a lot easier. That’s incredibly powerful for me.

No matter how hopeless you feel, everyone is worthy of living their life. There are people who want to help you.

Emma

When I was self-harming, if someone had said to me when you are 21, you are going to be happy and healthy, I wouldn’t have believed them.

But here I am.

If you want to self-harm

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Whatever you're going through, call us free any time, from any phone, on 116 123.

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Call us any time, day or night 116 123

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Sometimes writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you better understand them.

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Write to us

Chris

Freepost RSRB-KKBY-CYJK

PO Box 9090

STIRLING

FK8 2SA

Write to us Chris, Freepost RSRB-KKBY-CYJK, PO Box 9090, STIRLING, FK8 2SA
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Sometimes writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you understand them better.

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[email protected]

Response time: 24 hours

[email protected] Response time: 24 hours
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If you would like emotional support in Welsh, we have a Welsh Language Line which is free to call. We also have a letter writing service in Welsh.

Call now 0808 164 0123

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Try Samaritans Self-Help

Launch the app
Try Samaritans Self-Help Launch the app
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How can I support someone who has self-harmed?

Read our tips for supporting someone

If you want to self-harm

Whether you sometimes think about self-harm, or you’ve already hurt yourself, we’re here. Read more about how we can help.

Practical ways to help yourself cope

Information on what to do if you're feeling low or struggling to cope.

I want to kill myself

Thoughts of killing yourself can be complex, frightening and confusing.

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Samaritans is a charity registered in England and Wales (219432) and in Scotland (SC040604) and incorporated in England and Wales as a company limited by guarantee (757372). Samaritans Ireland is a charity registered in the Republic of Ireland (20033668) and incorporated in the Republic of Ireland as a company limited by guarantee (450409). Samaritans in Scotland is a charity registered in Scotland (SC009843) and incorporated as a Scottish Charitable Incorporated Organisation. Samaritans Enterprises is a private limited company (01451175).