Tips for helping someone open up when you think something's up

These are some of the signs that someone may not be okay:

• Not wanting to do things they usually enjoy
• Finding everyday things overwhelming
• Not replying to messages, or being distant
• Avoiding people or seeming quiet
• Appearing restless or agitated
• Easily tearful
• Drinking or using drugs to cope with feelings

Don’t be shy to ask how someone’s feeling:

• Choose a good time, and somewhere without distractions
• Use open questions that need more than a yes/no answer
• ‘How are things? I’ve noticed you don’t seem quite yourself’
• Listen well. ‘How’s that making you feel?'
• Avoid giving your view of what’s wrong, or what they should do

Showing you care builds trust to open up:

• Make eye contact and put away your phone if you're talking face to face
• Focus completely on the other person
• Pauses are fine, try not to jump in to fill a silence
• Say back what you think it is they are wanting you to hear
• Resist putting your own interpretation on it
• Don't give up! Sometimes it can take a few tries!

If it feels like the person is really struggling to cope:

• ‘Would you like to get some help?’
• ‘Have you tried your GP?’
• ‘Would you like me to come with you?’
• ‘Did you know you don’t have to be feeling suicidal to call Samaritans?’
• ‘Samaritans is free, 24 hours a day if you’re feeling low or worried too.’
• If it helps, you can talk to me any time.’