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Practical ways to help yourself cope

Information on what to do if you're feeling low or struggling to cope.

It's okay. It's common to feel this way.

You’re not alone in feeling like this. Many people struggle to cope at one point or another and going through a range of emotions during this time is common.

You can contact Samaritans any time you like or you might also want to speak to someone else you trust like a family member, your GP or arrange to see a counsellor.

You are never alone

When people are going through a tough time they often experience negative thoughts about themselves and feel they have no-one to turn to.

Even if you don’t have family or friends close by, you are never alone. Samaritans volunteers are here for you every day of the year, round the clock.

These feelings may not last forever

Everyone feels low at some point in their lives and if you’re struggling to cope it may be difficult to see beyond your current situation. Talking about how you’re feeling can help put things into perspective and help you to feel more positive about the future.

Identify trigger situations

There are all sorts of reasons why you may be finding it hard to cope. Often it’s due to a combination of things.

Perhaps you're going through:

  • relationship and family problems
  • loss, including loss of a friend or a family member through bereavement
  • financial worries
  • job-related stress
  • college or study-related stress
  • worry about current events
  • loneliness and isolation, or struggling with self-isolation
  • depression
  • painful and/or disabling physical illness
  • heavy use of or dependency on alcohol or other drugs
  • thoughts of suicide.

There are lots of things you can do to help yourself

  • Make time for yourself, relax and do things you enjoy
  • Eat healthily; get plenty of sleep and exercise
  • Spend time with people you love
  • Talk about your problems with people you trust
  • Be proud of what you’re good at, as well as aware of what you struggle with
  • Pay attention to what you’re feeling.

If you’ve stopped doing things you usually love, you’re tearful, not eating or sleeping properly, drifting from people close to you, taking alcohol or drugs to cope or self-harming, then talk to us, or someone you trust.

Relaxation exercises

Controlled breathing

It might sound simple, but controlled breathing can be a useful tool for feeling calmer quickly and reducing feelings of stress and anxiety. This technique is easy to memorise and can be practised almost anywhere. Practise this for as long as you need to feel the benefits.

To practise this technique, all you need to do is this:

  • Breathe in for four seconds
  • Hold your breath for four seconds
  • Breathe out for four seconds
  • Wait four seconds before repeating

Keep repeating this until you start to feel calmer. Look for both mental and physical signs, like your thoughts and your heartbeat slowing down.

You may already know what triggers your negative thoughts and feelings. If you do, try using this breathing technique if you know you will encounter a certain trigger, or immediately after.

Muscle relaxation

Progressive muscle relaxation involves tensing and releasing pairs of muscles in sequence. It can help if you imagine tension leaving your body as you release your muscles.

You’ll need a quiet, private space for this to work well. Find somewhere to sit, with your feet planted shoulder width apart, flat on the ground. You might like to read through the steps of this simple technique first, then practise without any guidance, and you may want to use the breathing exercise above before you use this one.

We’ll start with the muscles in your head. Tense your forehead muscles by raising your eyebrows and holding for up to 10 seconds. Then release, imagining tension leaving your body.

Repeat this, working down through pairs of muscles throughout your body. Try to tense them for up to 10 seconds before releasing.

When you’ve finished, don’t get up straight away. Stay where you are for a minute or so, then, when you do get up, do so slowly. You can practise this technique whenever you notice yourself becoming stressed or anxious.

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Call us

Whatever you're going through, call us free any time, from any phone, on 116 123.

Benefits

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Maybe not if...

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Call us any time, day or night 116 123

116 123 Call us any time, day or night
Find out more

Write a letter

Sometimes writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you better understand them.

Benefits

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  • Time to reflect between letters

Maybe not if...

  • You need urgent support right now
  • You have no fixed address
  • It's hard for you to post a letter

Write to us

Freepost SAMARITANS LETTERS

Write to us Freepost SAMARITANS LETTERS, , ,
Find out more

Email us

Sometimes writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you understand them better.

Benefits

  • Time to compose your thoughts
  • No need to respond right away
  • Work things through over time

Maybe not if...

  • You need urgent support right now
  • You want to talk things through in one go
  • You want to speak to the same person throughout

[email protected]

Response time: 24 hours

[email protected] Response time: 24 hours
Find out more

Welsh language

If you would like emotional support in Welsh, we have a Welsh Language Line which is free to call. We also have a letter writing service in Welsh.

Call now 0808 164 0123

0808 164 0123 Call now
Find out more

Self-help app

Keep track of how you're feeling, and get recommendations for things you can do to help yourself cope, feel better and stay safe in a crisis

Benefits

  • Free
  • Work things through in your own time
  • You don't need to speak to anyone if you're not ready

Maybe not if...

  • You need urgent help right now
  • You want to speak to a volunteer
  • Your internet connection is unreliable

Try Samaritans Self-Help

Launch the app
Try Samaritans Self-Help Launch the app
Find out more

I want to kill myself

Thoughts of killing yourself can be complex, frightening and confusing.

If you want to self-harm

Whether you sometimes think about self-harm, or you’ve already hurt yourself, we’re here. Read more about how we can help.

Contact a Samaritan

If you need someone to talk to, we listen. We won't judge or tell you what to do.

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Samaritans is a charity registered in England and Wales (219432) and in Scotland (SC040604) and incorporated in England and Wales as a company limited by guarantee (757372). Samaritans Ireland is a charity registered in the Republic of Ireland (20033668) and incorporated in the Republic of Ireland as a company limited by guarantee (450409). Samaritans Enterprises is a private limited company (01451175).