I was made to feel safe and ended the call knowing that one way or another, I could get through things.
My depression and anxiety started when I was about 11. Growing up, I always compared myself to others, which created the mentality of, ‘I’m not good enough’ and this impacted my self-esteem and self-worth.
I moved to London from Germany when I was eight years old and while children at my primary school had been really accepting, things changed when I reached secondary school. I experienced a lot of physical bullying, and at the time, I would laugh it off because it was my coping mechanism. Over time, the low self-worth and constant comparisons to others led me into a deep depression. I struggled to recognise my own value and the value I brought to others.
Me and my family are Ghanaian, and I think growing up there was this culture where we didn't really talk about our feelings.
Being raised in an environment where emotions weren’t openly talked about meant I often stayed quiet about mine, which made the experience more difficult to navigate.
Contacting Samaritans
It wasn’t until around ten years later that I reached out to Samaritans for support. At university, things seemed steadier for a while, but my self-esteem and self-worth struggled again, and I wasn’t forming the healthiest friendships. Then I found out my sister had been diagnosed with cancer, and suddenly everything felt like it was piling up faster than I could manage.
During university, some of my friends were aware I was struggling, and when they noticed I was feeling especially low, they would come over to be there for me. Despite this, there were still times when I isolated myself, just as I had done before when I felt low. I also worried about being a burden. Even though no one had ever said that it was always a worry of mine. When I realised I needed some additional help, I went to my doctor and was diagnosed with severe depression. I was prescribed antidepressants and started taking them, but my mind still felt all over the place. That’s when I decided to reach out to Samaritans for the first time.
I don’t remember what was said in the call, but I remember I was crying uncontrollably. The volunteer just stayed on the phone with me and was so patient. I felt listened to and that I was no longer alone – that feeling really stuck with me. It helped to speak to someone without any judgement, and I think because I couldn’t see them, I was able to share my feelings openly. I was made to feel safe and ended the call knowing that one way or another, I could get through things.
Talking about mental health
From my experience with depression, you can feel stable for a while and then suddenly find yourself struggling. I can’t remember the exact trigger, but I started to struggle again two years ago, which is when I reached out to Samaritans again. I’d fallen back into my extreme overthinking patterns and knew I needed to talk to someone. I was met with the same sense of safety as before and not made to feel bad that I was calling again or for finding myself in a tough place. Looking back, I genuinely believe Samaritans’ support played a significant role in helping me through some of my darkest moments. Those conversations made a real difference when I needed it most.
I still have low points here and there, but I wouldn't say I'm depressed any longer. Years of therapy and counselling, opening up to family and friends, starting weight training, and learning to accept my feelings and thoughts have all helped me on my journey. I feel like I’m on the other side of it now, which for me has been a really big high as it consumed so much of my childhood and early adulthood.
I’m now in a place where I see and truly believe my own value and the value I bring to others, which was something I had always struggled with. I’m also appreciative of my life and the people and things in my life. I still feel like I’m on a journey, but I’m accepting myself more, and that makes me happy. Whoever I am as a person is enough, and people will either accept me or they won’t, and that’s ok. In the past, wanting everyone to like me was something I constantly worried about, but that pressure doesn’t control me anymore.
I’m now more open with my family about how I feel, especially my mum and siblings. As a family, we’ve become much better at talking about things.
One thing that I've learnt from all of this is how important it is to encourage people to speak about their feelings when they’re struggling, if they feel comfortable to share. Their emotions are valid, and I’ve realised that not being open can really have an impact in the long run.
Running the London Marathon
I turned 30 in early 2026 and wanted to mark the occasion by taking on the London Marathon. I’d never been a runner, so when I first started training, I couldn’t consistently run for more than a minute. By race day, I could comfortably run for more than 20 km, and I’d genuinely grown to enjoy running. More than anything, it showed me that you really can do anything you set your mind to.
One of the most memorable parts of the day was seeing how many people came out to support me. There were even some unexpected faces, which made it even more heartwarming. I had told everyone I was a slow runner and not to expect wonders, but they wanted to be there for me anyway, and that meant so much.
Milli
Running 26.2 miles was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done but crossing the finish line was an unforgettable moment. It felt like a celebration of everything I’d overcome, all the months of training that had brought me there, and the opportunity to raise money for a charity that had supported me through some of my darkest times. Completing the marathon felt like a small way of giving back to Samaritans and helping them continue to be there for people who need someone to listen, just as they were there for me.
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