Elsa shares her experience with self-harm and how she creates a positive online environment for support.
I've always thought I was a bit late to the social media party, I guess compared to most of my friends I was and I remember often feeling a bit left out because of it. Looking back now though I’m really glad that my online presence wasn’t the most important thing to me as a teenager, and that my exposure to the online world had some limitations.
I began struggling with self-harm around the age of 15. At the time, it felt like a never-ending spiral that was completely uncontrollable, and honestly took a lot of strength to come out of. I’ve learnt a lot over the last couple of years, and one thing that I’ve had to come to terms with is that recovery doesn’t happen overnight, and those sorts of experiences stay with you forever. I might not have been consumed by self-harm so much in recent years, but my past experiences often come into my mind and will always have an impact on me because at one point it was my life.
What I’ve learnt is that it’s okay to have those thoughts – putting pressure on yourself to try and forget can be incredibly frustrating because they’re so hard to switch off. What is important is knowing how to manage them and to develop coping mechanisms to stop yourself from falling into that spiral again. No one should ever feel so negatively about themselves that they believe they deserve to hurt themselves.
The reason I am glad my online presence wasn’t so heavy as a young teenager, is because I think my downward spiral would have happened a lot earlier in my life and been a lot more intense because of the way that conversations around mental health and illnesses are sometimes discussed, or the lack of awareness around further support that is out there.
There are lots of charities, organisations and helplines out there which offer great resources and can better support young people if they think they need it. You could even think about support organisations which you found particularly useful. Including a little bit of extra information at the bottom of your post could make a huge difference and prevent some people from feeling a bit stuck and helpless after reading something triggering or harmful online.
Sometimes I feel like social media is a bit of a weight on my shoulders, one of the reasons for this being because of the uncertainty that I feel comes with these platforms and the anxiety around not knowing exactly what’s going to pop up on my screen next. It can feel overwhelming and like you’re a bit out of control in your online world. Something I’ve learnt to do is to take ownership of my feed and only follow accounts that truly make me feel good, which spread positivity, or which offer genuine support. My mental health online has been much more positive since I started being mindful of what I’m interacting with online, rather than just passively taking everything in. We are allowed to enjoy social media because it’s not all bad, but it can be difficult, so it can be valuable to think through how you spend your time online. Set time limits, choose who you follow, and be yourself!
I love accounts that spread hope, and equally love doing it myself. I think hope is one of the best things to surround someone with because without believing that it’s there getting out of our spirals can be an even more painful experience. You never know what someone might be going through, so whether you’re sharing your own experience or another story that shows that there is light at the end of the tunnel, don’t underestimate how big of a difference that could make to someone’s mental health.
Let's all be a part of creating and showing that no matter how dark the world seems, there is hope out there for everyone. Please don’t give up.
