John’s job entails planning and implementing testing of signalling equipment on track in connection to track renewal work.
Inspired by his own experience with friends coming to him for help with their own suicidal thoughts, John decided to take part in Samaritans’ Managing Suicidal Contacts course in December 2019. Since then, he’s put his skills into practise even outside of the rail environment and has saved a life.
“Over the years, I’ve had a few people reach out to me with suicidal thoughts and I did my best to try and help them, but I did find it quite challenging and frightening, as I was worried that I wasn’t saying the right thing.
When I was offered the chance to do Samaritans training as part of the rail partnership, I jumped at the chance and thankfully have been able to put what I learnt to use to help save a man’s life.
“I was out cycling on a normal Monday in October, when I came across a man who was noticeably upset and was thinking of taking his life. A young woman had already stopped her car and was talking to him as I got there.
“I joined the lady and knew that I had to get him talking to me. I introduced myself and asked him his name and began to draw some conversation out of him with a hand on his arm and shoulder. I asked him what was going on, what had brought him to the point he was at today.
I knew that if he could talk to someone and initially get it off his chest and vent he was more likely to feel an emotional release.
"I indicated to the young lady to go and telephone for help while I kept him talking.
“I also knew I had to get him to a safer place. He refused to do this at first, but I managed to convince him. I convinced him to turn towards me so we could talk better, face to face, and I'd be able to hear him properly. When he did, I gave him a big hug and kept hold of him for a minute or two and he was crying his eyes out. I really felt for him.
“Shortly after the police pulled up and I briefly outlined all I had learnt - that he was having a bad day, had been suffering with depression for ten years and was missing his four-year-old daughter who lived in Ireland and was not allowed to visit.
"I reassured him he was not in trouble and that they were the best people to find him the help he needed at that moment, as he got slightly anxious at first.
"We said our goodbyes and left him with the police who agreed the best thing to do was to take him to see their mental health team who would be able to help him.
“I felt quite emotional afterwards and went home to give my wife a big hug. To see someone who is so upset, where life has got on top of them, it’s heart-breaking. I just really wanted to give him a big hug and tell him that things will be okay, and you just need to find the right help, the right people.
"One of his friends texted me shortly afterwards to say thank you for being there for him when he needed someone. Without Samaritans training, the help of the brave lady and having the courage to talk to him, that man might not be here today.
I’m so happy I was able to make a difference. The one thing I learnt from the training and want to remind everyone is to not be afraid.
"You can’t say the wrong thing – you have every chance of making things better, just by talking. It’s all about making that human connection that will make all the difference for someone in that position.”
Small Talk Saves Lives
Your words are a life-saving kit. If you see someone who doesn’t look OK, a little small talk could save their life. Anyone can do it.
How to start a conversation with somebody who needs help
It’s normal to feel anxious about starting a conversation and making small talk. You might worry about saying the wrong thing – but having the confidence to act could help save a life.