Radhana (she/her) is a young professional living in England with her partner, who experienced suicidal thoughts during the pandemic. Radhana talked about how the pandemic brought challenges at work and meant she couldn’t use her normal coping strategies, but ultimately sparked new ways to feel empowered, support herself and those around her.
When the pandemic began, Radhana had recently got engaged and bought a new house. She says she was “looking forward to a normal celebration and a good time”, but “the pandemic kicked in and everything just stopped”.
There have been so many occasions. It was my 30th birthday, engagement, my partner getting a promotion. It feels like nothing has been celebrated or enjoyed. It's just him and me stuck in this house.
Before the pandemic, Radhana had also attempted to take her own life and was and learning how to manage her mental wellbeing. The lockdown deprived her of many of the coping mechanisms she used to support her mental wellbeing such as seeing her family in India. For Radhana, being able to go out, have a routine and see friends is “important and essential” and so the experience of “just being in the house, just doing the same thing over and over again and not going to work” led to her feeling “trapped, not just physically but mentally as well”.
I can’t act on things to make me feel better, I cannot do something for myself to feel better.
Radhana struggled with this most in the early months of the first lockdown. She was “overworking really long hours without any breaks” which started to have a “huge impact” on her mental health. After trying to reduce her medication, Radhana started to experience suicidal thoughts again.
I had thoughts that, 'If I die it would be so much better’. I could sense that a depressive episode is about to kick in because I was in a really bad place and then I started thinking, okay, I need to do something to calm this.
Luckily Radhana realised she needed help, took some time off work and gave herself “space to breathe”. As well as being kinder to herself and taking more breaks, she increased her medication and therapy frequency, recognising that “there’s no shame in getting support. I need that support right now.” Her partner helped her build the “confidence to just resign from my job that is affecting my mental health really badly.”
I'm prioritising my own mental wellbeing over what anyone else would think or what anyone else would say.
Radhana was able to empower herself and get her mental health back on the right track. She also realised she could use her knowledge of mental health to support others and later set up her own mental health initiative, in order to “to raise awareness of mental health” for others, including her family in India.
I shared things that helped me in my recovery and how things are working and that really worked.
This initiative became very successful and wide-reaching across the UK and India. However, Radhana was still able to keep up her self-care, acknowledging that “you cannot pour from an empty cup”. She’s on the hunt for a new job and looking forward to the “happiness” and “celebration” to come.
I think because I'm smiling a lot more, so my face, you can see it's been happy and this person is genuinely feeling good from inside.
*Names have been changed to protect identities .
Read more about how work and finances have been impacted by the coronavirus pandemic.