People we interviewed spoke to us at length about the ways in which the pandemic has impacted their relationships and ability to connect with loved ones, which for many was a key source of support.
People we interviewed spoke to us at length about the ways in which the pandemic has impacted their relationships and ability to connect with loved ones, which for many was a key source of support.
People spoke about their social life being cut off by restrictions and fear of spreading the virus. Sanjay said this left him feeling “disconnected” and like “I don’t matter”. He told us that “Spending Christmas alone felt awful. I could have seen my mum on the day but with her being vulnerable I've still not seen her. It's been over a year since I've seen my mum and I miss hugging her.”
Some described feeling less supported with their mental health and suicidal thoughts as a result of restricted social contact. Tara has a close friend who had supported her with her suicidal thoughts and a suicide attempt in the past, however during the pandemic she felt that “knowing that we'd all just spread COVID cases and things like that I think I would probably think twice before calling her”.
Someone who's completely isolated, alone, has no help whatsoever, I can imagine how they could feel completely lost, and feeling lost, can also just contribute to you not wanting to be around in the world any more.
Tara
People also described feeling isolated and lonely, with some reporting that isolation has impacted upon their mental health. Tara told us that “It's actually made me feel like I am more truly on my own than I've ever felt before.” Many of the people we spoke to lived alone, which perpetuated feelings of isolation. Jamil felt that living alone meant he would ruminate and “spend a lot of time thinking about negative scenarios”. Those living alone felt neglected by coronavirus guidelines and support, and some people worried that no one would notice if they were gone.
Read more about Tara's experiences of the pandemic.
A friend of a friend took their own life last week. Not one of his friends found out until 5 days later, I wonder about people I know who I haven't spoken too in the last few days - are they still with us? I do not know.
Julia
However, others such as Ruby, found themselves enjoying more restricted social contact which have had positive effects on their wellbeing: “I've found a whole different set of boundaries and there's a lot of them I don't plan to change any time soon because they've been healthy for me. You know, it's like, god, why didn't I think about this before?”
While many people described feeling isolated, this also prompted some people to reflect on the importance and value of the relationships in their life which many people described as a lifeline throughout the pandemic. In times of isolation, Sam started struggling with their mental health and started having suicidal thoughts, telling us that “everything felt futile and I couldn’t see the point in carrying on if this is what life was. The fight had gone.” However, Sam also spoke about how seeing their friends helped them overcome these feelings of hopelessness and defeat.
A friend visited me for a doorstep present drop off and just seeing him felt like the lifeline I needed. It gave me some rejuvenation to carry on.
Sam
While many mentioned online platforms as being valuable for catching up with loved ones or forming new connections, people also expressed frustration with virtual communication, especially among those who find such platforms inaccessible. Sam told us “Zoom calls are just not the same. In fact, I hate them now – they just seem to amplify what can't actually be done.”
For those who lived with others, many reflected on the positives of being able to spend more time with family and the support this gave them. However, some people mentioned the strain that living in the pandemic and being under restrictions has put on their relationships. For Lauren, the restrictions and isolation made it more complicated to leave her abusive spouse which led to her feeling “trapped” and suicidal “part of the reason he has been able to have control and a hold over me is because he has been the only person I've been able to see”.
Some people spoke to us about experiencing bereavements and grieving during the pandemic. Ruby told us that living a more isolated lifestyle was at times helpful in grieving the loss of her daughter who died by suicide before the pandemic, as it gave her space to process this trauma.
*Names have been changed to protect identities.