Worried about someone?
If you are worried about a friend, colleague
or family member they may really appreciate you asking how they
are. Talking about a problem is never easy. If it's really bad,
what can you say?
You don’t have to be able to solve their
problem, or even to completely understand it, but listening to what
they have to say will at least let them know you care.
What are the signs I should look out for?
Sometimes people do want to talk, but we just
don't realise. Fortunately, people do put out signals. Often they
are very tentative signals, but the signs are often there if we
know what to look for. Here are some ways that people signal that
they may need help:
- Being irritable or nervous.
- A change in routine, such as sleeping or
eating less than normal.
- Drinking, smoking or using drugs more than
usual.
- Being un-typically clumsy or accident
prone.
- Becoming withdrawn or loosing touch with
friends and family.
- Losing interest in their appearance. For
example dressing badly, no longer wearing make-up, not washing
regularly.
- Making leading statements, such as 'You
wouldn't believe what I've been through' or 'It’s like the whole
world is against me'. People sometimes say these things in the hope
you will ask what they mean, so that they can talk about it.
- Putting themselves down in a serious or jokey
way, for example 'Oh, no one loves me', or 'I'm a waste of
space'
How can I help someone?
If you are worried about a friend, colleague or family member
they may really appreciate you asking how they are. You don't have
to be able to solve their problem, or even to completely understand
it, but listening to what they have to say will at least let them
know you care.
Find out
how to start a difficult conversation
Other sources of support
Looking after yourself
Hearing someone else’s worries or problems can be distressing
for you too. Samaritans volunteers often talk through a
conversation that they found upsetting with another volunteer, in
order to get some support themselves. We would encourage you
to do the same.
Talk to another friend about it or, if you have promised not to
tell anyone else, you can call Samaritans who will keep the
information confidential. Take care not to take on so much of other
people’s problems that you yourself start feeling depressed.
Contact
Samaritans yourself
Useful information
How to
start a difficult conversation with someone else
About
Emotional health