Managing Stress
What is stress?
We all talk about stress, but what does it actually mean?
People use the term stress to describe the feeling they have
when it all seems too much, when they are overloaded and don't feel
that they are able to meet all the demands placed upon them.
That's not to say that a bit of pressure isn't good for you.
Some pressure is inevitable. But it's important to know the
difference between pressure and stress. Problems arise when the
pressure you're under is more than you are able to cope with.
Are you stressed?
If you think you might be experiencing stress ask yourself the
following questions:
- Are you angry and impatient with people close to you?
- Do you feel close to tears over small events?
- Are you behaving differently from usual?
- Do you feel isolated from people around you?
- Is your self-esteem at rock bottom?
Do you have any of these physical symptoms?
- Sleeplessness
- Loss of appetite or irregular eating
- Panic attacks and difficulty breathing
- Tight, knotty feelings in your stomach
- Low energy and lack of concentration
- Loss of interest in things around you
Karen explains how stressed she felt while waiting for her exam
results:
"I wasn't speaking to my parents; I had all
these powerful emotions inside of me that I couldn't bring myself
to talk to my friends about. I felt like I was being destroyed by
what was going on inside of me. I was just at the end of my line. I
didn't know where to go, what to do, I thought I'd gone insane, I
just wanted some peace. The only way I thought I could get it was
by topping myself. I was totally messed up, out of control. If I
hadn't rung Samaritans and got help I think I might have done the
most stupid thing that anyone could ever do."
What can you do if you are stressed?
1. Give yourself some space
If you start to feel that you're getting stressed – take a step
back. Give yourself some space, take some time every day doing
something you enjoy and not thinking about anything else.
Impossible! Most people will claim.
Not so. Everyone has 15 minutes in a day that they can reserve
for themselves. It might just be a walk round the block, a bit of
gardening or a bath with the door locked and some earplugs in. The
important thing is that you get the time to yourself for
yourself.
2. Know your limits
If your expectations of yourself are always sky high you will
inevitably spend a great deal of time being disappointed and
frustrated. Instead, be realistic in what you can achieve and
celebrate success at every opportunity.
Remember that you are entitled to breaks and days off – take
them. And make sure you get a reasonable amount of sleep.
Not taking on too much, accepting offers of help from others and
doing one thing at a time are ways to prevent stress.
3. Learn to relax physically
Believe it or not, being able to relax your body is a skill. You
must teach yourself to do it effectively and once you do, it can be
very powerful.
Relaxation is best done every day and at a time and place where you
will not be disturbed.
People relax in different ways. For some, physical exercise is a
way of relaxing. Try walking, running, dancing, or sport. Others
may prefer to sit quietly and go through a relaxation exercise. Try
different things to find what's right for you. But try not to
overdo it on the booze or other substances.
4. Talk
If things do feel like they're getting on top of you, perhaps
you could consider the most difficult of all things -talking.
Speak to someone you trust, outside or inside your work about
the things that are causing you stress.
There is support available - use it. There's other sources of
help on our useful links page.
Across the UK, you can call Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90 (1850
60 90 90 in the Republic of Ireland) for the price of a local
call.
You can also write to Samaritans at Chris, PO Box 9090,
Stirling, FK8 2SA, send an e-mail to jo@samaritans.org or if you are deaf
or hard of hearing use the single national minicom number 08457 90
91 92 (1850 60 90 91 in the Republic of Ireland).
Why does talking help?
Talking openly about how you really feel can be like opening a
door. Talking puts you back in control and reveals the choices you
have. Many people feel pressured into hiding their feelings out of
embarrassment or concern not to burden family or friends. But
hiding under a calm exterior only saves the problem for later and
stress can build up until it becomes unbearable. Don’t leave it
that long. Remember your emotional health is your responsibility
and Samaritans is there to help whatever time of the day or
night.
Gary describes how talking to a Samaritans volunteer helped
him:
"I'd like to say how great Samaritans are. I
recently phoned them and the bloke I talked to was really calm and
friendly. He gave me the time that I needed to say difficult things
and he called me back so that the call wouldn't appear on the
itemised phone bill. No-one there could magically make my life
better and totally happy, but talking really did help. People
reading this who are depressed might not believe that; I know
because I was the same. But I'd like to say give it a try - it
can't make things worse can it? I also know that there will always
be someone at the end of the phone."
More information
For more information about stress, please see our website about
Stress Down
Day.