Helping others at risk

What are the symptoms of someone at risk of suicide and depression?

Suicidal behaviour differs from person to person. Some people show very positive behaviour such as happiness or relief once their decision to take their own life and end the pain has been made.

Unusual behaviour, such as being very withdrawn or excessively animated can also be a sign that there is something wrong. If someone is going through an emotional distress they can feel very isolated and will sometimes show anger or impatience towards the people close to them. Low self-esteem, being close to tears and not being able to cope with small every day events are also signs that someone is struggling to cope with overwhelming feelings.

Physical symptoms of depression and distress also include sleeplessness, loss of appetite or irregular eating, stomach aches, panic attacks, low energy and loss of concentration. Signs that someone is suicidal can include talking of tidying up their affairs or expressing feelings of despair and failure.

Some factors can indicate suicide risk and these are outlined below.

Has your friend:

• experienced the recent loss (a loved one, pet, job)?
• experienced a major disappointment (failed exams, missed job promotions)?
• experienced a change in circumstances (retirement, redundancy, children leaving home)?
• experienced physical/mental illness?
• made a recent suicide attempt?
• a history of suicide in the family?
• begun tidying up their affairs (making a will, taking out insurance)?

Behaviour:

• Taking less care of themselves
• Finding it difficult to relate to others
• Being very withdrawn
• Acting noticeably different in some way, for example being unusually cheerful
• Being tearful, or trying hard not to cry
• Finding it hard to concentrate
• Being less energetic, and/or seeming particularly tired
• Eating less (or more) than usual
• Sleeping badly and/or waking early
• Losing appetite or eating more than usual

Thoughts:

• Seeing no hope in the future
• Believing that things will never change
• Seeing no point in life
• Feeling worthless or a failure

Feelings:

• Feeling low-spirited
• Feeling more irritable
• Feeling suicidal
• Feeling very isolated and alone

Things to listen for - does your friend talk about:

• feeling suicidal (it's a myth that people who talk about it don't do it)?
• seeing no hope in the future, no point in life?
• feeling worthless, a failure?
• feeling very isolated and alone?
• sleeping badly, especially waking early?
• losing their appetite, or eating more than usual?

 

How can I help someone at risk of suicide?

If you are worried about a friend, colleague or family member they may really appreciate you asking how they are. You don't have to be able to solve their problem, or even to completely understand it, but listening to what they have to say will at least let them know you care.

Remember to act quickly. When someone is distressed, it may be a seemingly small thing or something which only affects them indirectly which acts as the trigger to them becoming suicidal or acting out suicidal thoughts. Letting someone know that you are there whenever they want to talk is the first step in offering help.

Talking about feelings

If you feel able to, offer support and encourage your friend, colleague or family member to talk about how they are feeling. Ask direct questions and don't be afraid of frank discussions. If someone is talking about suicide always take it seriously. It is a myth that talking about suicide is attention seeking.

It is vital not to pressurise the person into talking if they don’t want to, but giving them the time and space to talk openly without interrupting or offering solutions or judging them can provide the first step in helping them cope. Sometimes people want to talk to someone outside their situation and suggesting they talk to Samaritans or visit their GP can help them widen their options.

Find out more about how to start a conversation and the sorts of questions to ask

Find out about a way of listening which helps people talk through their problems

Still concerned

If you are seriously concerned about a friend or relative, Samaritans volunteers can discreetly approach the person in distress to offer emotional support, if the permission of the person in distress has been given.

Contact Samaritans

 

Points to remember

• Ask the person how they are feeling and listen to the answer.
• Ask if they are feeling suicidal: giving permission to be honest is important
• Encourage your friend to seek help and talk to someone they trust.
• Keep the conversation going with open questions
• Remember that it is difficult to support someone who is suicidal on your own- encourage your friend to seek emotional support and talk to someone they trust- maybe friends, family, medical services, Samaritans.
• Contact Samaritans yourself. We may be able to contact the person you are worried about.

 

Look after yourself

Remember that it is difficult to support someone who is suicidal on your own. Samaritans volunteers often talk through a conversation that they found upsetting with another volunteer, in order to get support themselves. Take care not to take on so much of other people’s problems that you yourself start feeling depressed.

• Encourage your friend to seek emotional support and talk to someone they trust - maybe friends, family, medical services, Samaritans.
  
  
• Talk to another friend about the problems you've been listening to or, if you have promised not to tell anyone else, you can call Samaritans who will keep the information confidential. Contact Samaritans

 

Who else can help?

Please see our list of UK and Ireland-based agencies that can offer specific advice