Molly's story

After university, Molly felt like the only person who didn’t have a job lined up. After seeing her friends success on social media, and the breakdown of her relationship, she turned to Samaritans for support.

"I started to compare myself negatively to everyone around me. I would trawl through social media, looking at my friends, thinking I was useless."

Molly's story

After university, Molly thought she was the only person who didn’t have a job lined up. She explains:

"I had a great time at university - surrounded by people in a similar position – I never felt alone. Sure, I got really stressed in my final year, who doesn’t? But I really enjoyed studying music, met a great boyfriend at uni and made some friends for life.

"I’d heard that getting a graduate job was tough, but I never thought it would have such a profound effect on me. All I wanted was a job for September. I was in my last term at university and thought the clock was ticking.

"Job application after job application got an “Unfortunately on this occasion, you have not been successful”. I started to compare myself negatively to everyone around me. I would trawl through social media, looking at my friends, thinking: “Everyone else has got a job lined up, I’m useless.”

"On the day of my graduation I couldn’t stop crying. I had done well in my degree and knew I should be celebrating but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t see that anything was going to work out."

Molly says that when she moved home to her parents she felt isolated and alone, which made these feelings more powerful:

"My parents were more than happy for me to live with them for as long as I needed. But I missed my old life terribly. Suddenly, I had no social life, nobody really to talk to. When I did meet up with my friends I didn’t want to burden them with the way I was feeling."

Her problems got worse and had an effect on her relationship:

I had been seeing my boyfriend for two years. He didn’t understand why I had changed. Why had I gone from being outgoing and appearing confident to extremely stressed and withdrawn?

"Meanwhile, I was still desperately trying to find a job. By now, I was looking for anything, not necessarily a graduate job. I just needed something to make ends meet. I bounced between minimum wage temporary jobs. Eventually, my relationship with my boyfriend broke down, which was the final straw.

"I visited my GP because by this stage, I needed help with the way I was feeling. They were wonderful, they explained that I was suffering with depression and referred me to cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)."

Determined to carry on with her interest in music, Molly pursued a master’s degree:

"I enrolled on a master’s degree in music and felt like I was once again focussing on my goals. I was still struggling to cope though, I felt quite daunted by the new subjects I was covering. 

"I saw an advert for Samaritans. The idea of having a listening, non-critical ear really appealed to me. I emailed jo@samaritans.org because I have always been anxious over the phone."

Molly explains that just writing down what was bothering her was a great emotional release:

"The first email I sent was long and rambling, a bit garbled. I had so much on my mind I didn’t know where to begin. But the Samaritan who responded to me somehow managed to recognise each of my problems. They asked me how I thought I could break these problems down, make them more manageable.

"Going back and forth to Samaritans, I was able to work out a way through. In time, I realised that my life wasn’t out of control, I just felt that way. Above all, I realised that I never have to feel alone. I can contact Samaritans at any given time, day or night."

Molly is launched her first music album this year and has successfully completed her master’s degree. She says:

"Now I see that I have a lot to be proud of and that the future really does look bright. If I had my time again, I think I would have got in touch with Samaritans much sooner.

"Sometimes things just pile up and it is difficult to see a way through. Life can get better and until it does, Samaritans is there to listen."