Most training courses teach you to present yourself to the world more effectively – to sell or promote your product and your personality. They are about putting your best foot forward, making a good impression on your clients and/or your colleagues. In this situation the person is the one in charge, controlling the mood and doing most of the talking.
Training to be a Samaritan is completely different. It is about learning how to listen, not how to talk. The roles are reversed, and it is the person who calls us who is going to do most of the talking. Much of the talking a Samaritan will do is to show they are actively listening, reflecting back the concerns of the caller, and encouraging them to open up. A Samaritan is concerned but non-judgemental, neither interfering or offering too much advice. Samaritans consider everyone to be an expert in their own lives. New Samaritans are coached in using the ‘Listening Wheel’ and using open-ended questions effectively.
Most training courses gather people in a room and make a presentation that people share in and talk about. When you take a break, participants will continue to chat about what they have learned, later offering bits and pieces of information about their own lives and backgrounds, as they get to know one another. However, due to the restrictions imposed by Coronavirus our training was conducted online, using Zoom. This provides for a very different experience. You maybe miles from your fellow trainees and having an informal chat is not easy when you are not in the same room as the person you are talking to. You can find yourself unintentionally interrupting and starting to talk at the same time as others, deprived of the little signals we make which indicate we want to talk or are ready to listen.
This, however, may not be such a bad thing when it comes to Samaritan training. It prepares you for the kind of remote communication which is standard practice in the organisation’s work. Whilst callers can access our services face to face in the Branch, although relatively rare, this is currently not possible due to the Virus. Callers can communicate by text or email too, but the vast majority use the telephone, finding the sound of another human voice at the end of the line comforting.
One key drawback of on-line training, nevertheless, is it that it is much harder to fully build and enjoy the camaraderie you gain when training and working with others. However, our trainers worked well to create an atmosphere that is supportive and all-embracing.
I found the practice sessions especially useful. It can be tempting to switch into problem-solving mode and to try to sort out peoples’ lives for them. This, however, is not the ethos or role of a Samaritan. A Samaritan listens sympathetically, allowing the caller to work through their own issues. It is about them – not you.
Like all new Samaritans I will naturally be initially nervous about sitting down and waiting for that phone to ring, but I am keen to put my training in to practice and am reassured by the fact that all ‘probationers’ are allocated an experienced Samaritan as a mentor.
Eddie