Media briefing: Questions and Answers

What should people do if they are worried about someone, and what are the signs they should look out for.

1. What should I do if I’m worried about someone?

If you are worried about someone you can either tell Samaritans, via Facebook’s Help Centre, or try to talk to them yourself. Ignoring the problem, or equally talking about your own troubles, will not help the person you’re worried about.

In Facebook’s Help Centre www.facebook.com/help, you can report specific content such as status updates or wall posts. Facebook will then put Samaritans in touch with your friend to offer their support. When you get to the Help Centre, simply enter ‘worried’ into the search bar and the relevant page will be displayed. The form to report content can be found at the bottom of this page.

2. What are the signs I should look out for if I’m worried about someone?

• Sometimes people do want to talk about their problems, but we don't always spot the signs. Fortunately, people often put out signals which might help you recognise they are struggling to cope:
• making leading statements, such as 'You wouldn't believe what I've been through' or 'It’s like the whole world is against me'
• putting themselves down in a serious or jokey way, for example 'Oh, no one loves me', or 'I'm a waste of space'being irritable or nervous
• a change in routine, such as sleeping or eating more or less than normal
• drinking, smoking or using drugs more than usual
• being un-typically clumsy or accident prone
• becoming withdrawn or losing touch with friends and family
• losing interest in their appearance.

3. How can I help a friend myself?

The chances are your friend will appreciate you asking how they are. You don’t have to be able to solve their problem, or even completely understand it. Knowing they’ve got someone in their corner who’s willing to listen might just make things a little easier for them. Start by letting them know you want to help – perhaps keep in touch in person, or by phone, texting, emailing or social networking.

It can be difficult to have that initial conversation with the person you are worried about. Below are a few tips to help you start:

• Invite the conversation: Often people want to talk, but wait until someone asks how they are. Find a good time and place, and try.
• Ask questions: Listening properly is all about getting someone to talk. Ask questions that encourage people to open up, like ‘What happened about…’, ‘Tell me about…’, ‘How do you feel about…’.
• Show you understand: Ask follow-up questions and repeat back the key things you’ve heard, using phrases like ‘So you’re saying…’, ‘So you think…’.
• Talk about feelings: Often people find it easier to talk about facts. Asking about their feelings shows you care and can be of more help.
• Respect their choices: It can be tempting to try and solve someone’s problems for them. It’s usually better though for people to make their own decisions. Help them think of all the options, but leave the choice to them.
• Look after yourself: Supporting someone else can be hard. Give yourself time to recover and share how you feel with someone you trust.
• Checking that your friend knows where to get help
  

It is important that your friend knows where to get help. Useful questions you might ask them, include:

• ‘Have you talked to anyone else about this?’
• ‘Would you like to get some help?’
• ‘Would you like me to come with you?’

Or, for someone who is reluctant to get help:

• ‘Do you have someone you trust you can go to?’
• ‘If it helps, you can talk to me any time.’

You can also suggest to your friend that the following sources of help may be useful:

• Samaritans by phone: 08457 90 90 90 (UK) or 1850 60 90 90 (ROI); email jo@samaritans.org; face to face at one of our 200 branches around the country – visit www.samaritans.org for details of our local branches
• Befrienders Worldwide includes a directory of emotional support helplines around the world.
• NHS Direct is a 24-hour nurse-led telephone advice and information service run by the National Health Service.
• A more comprehensive list of charities providing emotional support and help for mental illness can be found here.

4. How else does Samaritans engage with people online?

Since 11 November 2010, Samaritans’ helpline number and a highly visible red telephone icon is triggered when people search online in the UK for information related to suicide. The new feature helps connect people who are suicidal or in distress to the information they need to seek help and advice. Read the press release

An article published in The Lancet in December 2010 includes Samaritans’ comments on suicide and the online environment

More information

Samaritans press release: Samaritans launches Facebook drive to encourage support for suicidal friends
Further information about the scheme

Walk-through of the referral process (PDF)
The complete process for making, managing and responding to requests for support via Facebook.

For interviews, case studies or information about the partnership, please contact Will Davies, Samaritans Senior Press Officer, on 020 8394 8350 / 07943 809 162, or press@samaritans.org