Working with the bereaved
Working with bereaved individuals, families
and communities
General tips
- Try to make it clear when you are interviewing someone and how
you intend to use their material.
- Bear in mind that people who have lost someone to suicide will
often have trouble understanding what has happened. This in itself
can be very upsetting to the person.
- Consider that causes of suicide are almost always multiple and
complex. Do not seek to over simplify.
- Depictions of grieving friends and relatives or funerals and
memorials can be unhelpful as they may contribute to the danger of
‘copy cat’ suicides.
- Interviewing someone who has recently attempted suicide can be
unhelpful as it may encourage other people to seek attention in
this way.
- Bereaved families have told us that having their loved one’s
pictures, online profiles or other materials used against their
wishes can be very distressing. Such use is not illegal but can add
to distress.
During the interview
- Try not to suggest that you understand the person’s situation
because you have experienced the death of a relative or friend.
Avoid using phrases such as:– ‘I know how you feel’ (unless you
have actually been bereaved by suicide) – ‘Time is a great healer’
– ‘S/he is in a better place’.
- Try not to assume that you know how someone is going to be
feeling because of the length of time since the bereavement.
Despite the fact that there are well established ‘models of
grief’ the reality is that every case is different and expecting a
‘certain stage’ may actually prevent you from really accepting
where the person is at the time.
- Aim to avoid making any suggestions that the behaviour of
relatives or friends in some way contributed to the suicide. People
bereaved in this way are often left with feelings of profound guilt
and regret.
- It can be helpful to talk about grief but try not to rush the
person. Changing subjects too quickly or not giving them a chance
to say their piece can leave people feeling ‘used’.
- Be aware that a sudden bereavement can lead to short-term
memory issues. It may take the person a little while to recall
events and,on occasion, it might even be helpful to let the person
listen back to or read what they have said there and then. Issues
of accuracy are often what people are most upset about after an
interview has taken place.
- Be prepared for the person to be visibly upset. Offer to stop
the interview but accept that they may wish to continue despite
their distress.
After the interview
- Consider whether it would be appropriate to check the material
you use with the person. Give them the opportunity to give feedback
on how you intend to use their input.
- If you are concerned about the welfare of someone you should
enquire about what support they are receiving and, if necessary,
make them aware of what is available. Samaritans has material on identifying and supporting
people in distress and you may wish to refer to
this.
- If you are worried about someone please remember that you can
make a referral to Samaritans. Call 08457 90 90 90 in the UK or
1850 60 90 90 in the Republic of Ireland and explain the situation
to a volunteer who will be able to initiate this.
How Samaritans can help
Samaritans’ Press Office is available 24 hours a day for
consultation on any media enquiry or sources of support:
During working hours: +44 (0)20 8394 8300
Out of hours contact: +44 (0)7943 809162
“I contacted the press team at Samaritans
late on a Friday evening and despite the time of the call I was
very well briefed and was given guidance as to how to handle the
story in a responsible manner. I was also provided with a comment
which enhanced my reporting and gave sound advice to people
potentially affected by the issue.”
Jennifer Sugden, Scottish
Daily Mail Reporter