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Mother loses third daughter after two die by suicide

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Mother loses third daughter after two die by suicide

A mother who lost two daughters to suicide in 2007 is experiencing the bereavement of losing a third child, the Daily Mail has reported.

Kate Borau's eldest daughter Emily, 25, an IT consultant and part time DJ, was found dead in early August after suffering a cardiac arrest.

On a website dedicated to her daughters, Mrs Borau, 56, referred to Emily's death as accidental. An inquest into the incident has been adjourned while police inquires continue.

Emily's death comes three years after those of two of her sisters, Isabel (Izzy) and Anna, and five years after the suicide of the girls' father, Peter.

Peter took his own life in 2005 aged 51, which is thought to have been a factor in 17-year-old Izzy's subsequent suicide in 2007, according to the newspaper.

Mrs Borau's second eldest daughter Anna died by suicide just eight weeks after her sister, at the age of 21.

Following Anna's death, Emily is reported to have said: "I'm convinced that Anna was simply too heartbroken over Izzy to cope."

Meanwhile Mrs Borau said: "To bury one child hurts more than you can ever imagine but to bury a second so soon afterwards is a hundred times more painful."

Mrs Borau has two surviving children, 20-year-old daughter Jenny and 10-year-old son Hannes, the newspaper states.

Suicide, bereavement and social contagion

People bereaved by suicide may be particularly at risk of a phenomenon identified by researchers as 'social contagion'.

Social contagion is the idea that bereavement by suicide, when combined with a fixation on the suicide itself, can increase the likelihood of suicidal behaviour among affected individuals or groups.

According to research, social contagion can particularly affect vulnerable young people who have suffered bereavement as a result of suicide.

An NHS document entitled Help is at Hand also addresses the issue of bereavement by suicide and states that it can be different to that experienced as a result of other types of death.

According to the institution, people bereaved by suicide can sometimes experience feelings of grief combined with a fear for their own safety.

It adds that those affected sometimes worry that thoughts of suicide may be inherited, which can then in fact make them more vulnerable to considering taking their own life.

Responses to suicide

The NHS identifies several kinds of emotions which can be particular to people who have lost a loved one to suicide.

The Help is at Hand document states: "The fact that a person's death appeared to involve an element of choice raises painful questions that death from natural or accidental causes does not."

It adds that when a relative has died by suicide, members of that family may all have different ideas as to why it occurred, which can place a strain on familial ties.

Distressed woman on phone Self-blame is identified as another common reaction, with some people feeling they could have prevented the death if they had realised their loved one was experiencing suicidal thoughts.

However, the document says: "The changes in behaviour that lead to suicide can be very gradual.

"Even mental health professionals find it hard to know when a person is particularly at risk."

Shock, guilt, abandonment, rejection and social isolation can also be more pronounced when bereavement is a result of suicide, according to the NHS.

Complicated grief

Professor Keith Hawton of the University of Oxford's Department of Psychiatry agrees that the effects of bereavement by suicide can be particularly complex.

In an editorial published in the British Medical Journal on May 12th 2007, entitled Complicated Grief after Bereavement, he states: "This kind of reaction may be associated with adverse health outcomes and has recently been termed 'complicated grief'.

"The syndrome is more common after unexpected and violent deaths such as suicide."

He states that symptoms of complicated grief can include trouble accepting the death, an inability to trust others, excessive bitterness related to the death and uneasiness about moving on with life.

Further symptoms can include detachment from close friends and family, a feeling that life is meaningless, a negative view of the future and severe agitation, according to Professor Hawton.

However, he adds that with the proper support, people who have been bereaved by suicide can be helped to manage their grief.

Samaritans

If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or emotional distress, or have been bereaved by suicide, you can call Samaritans for support 24 hours on 08457 90 90 90 (UK) and 1850 60 90 90 (ROI), or email at jo@samaritans.org, or face to face - visit http://www.samaritans.org/ for your nearest branch.

Sources

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1300805/Mother-2-girls-committed-suicide-devastated-childs-overdose.html

http://www.samaritans.org/media_centre/media_guidelines.aspx

http://www.dh.gov.uk/en/Publicationsandstatistics/Publications/PublicationsPolicyAndGuidance/DH_115629 /dh_116064.pdf